Bea Laszlo
Happy birthday, little blog!
Celebration! It was exactly one year ago when I wrote my first blogpost. Happy blogday!
Plus my 5 months in Europe finished and I have been back to Southeast Asia for 2 weeks already.
I am beyond happy about the fact that I came back! I am not saying I didn't have doubts about returning or about the whole timing thing... when to come back, where to fly, where to stay... nor that it was easier than last year... Emotion-wise. Planning-wise. Decision-wise.
Last December, when I left for Thailand I felt I was kind of destroying the bonds I had started rebuilding in my long abandoned relationships and reconnecting to my roots by staying 2 years in Hungary after having lived and travelled around 13 years abroad... still, I really wanted to go and discover more and try the "real Digital Nomad life in Asia" I had been dreaming of. I just left with such mixed feelings that time.
Something similar happened this year, although maybe not as intensely... I really wanted to come back to Thailand, Indonesia and discover a little bit of Vietnam too, I just wasn't sure it was time for it already. These mixed feelings usually do have a huge impact on me, I sometimes experience a dozen rollercoasters with all those ups and downs on the same day. Which I don't mind at all, at least I can make sure I am truly alive. :D
So my first week by the sea was a constant ride with moments of true joy, great sorrow, childlike laughter, relieving tears, painful disappointments and just lots of confusion overall.
And why it was difficult this time?
I was having a great time at home and just all over Europe, really.
Socialized a lot in the summer and finally started working on my project in the autumn as well. No more procrastination, no more high expectations and frustration as a result.
Thanks to a wonderful training I attended in the Netherlands (where I went out of sheer curiosity, no specific goal whatsoever) I realized I had fallen into the trap of thinking my lack of productivity was the most disastrous thing in the universe. So from July on I started taking it much easier on myself, accepting my way of making progress, being much more patient with myself and embracing my own rhythm. Then I still needed a few weeks of mostly trial and error until I found my voice and style and started my own youtube channel. I figured as I did not especially enjoy the types of online marketing strategies I had tried previously (and these hadn't worked for me so well, ehm, I mean at all either) I would just do something different. Something I actually enjoyed doing and believed in. Then things just seemed to have fallen into place.
10 years ago I actually had this idea that I wanted to become a filmmaker. Then life took me somewhere else... on a totally different path. Buuuut wait, what if I could combine all my passions? Travelling, languages and filmmaking (oh yes, this long forgotten passion of mine, haha). And I'd also add a pinch of self-development, mindfulness and some digital nomad content to it. There it is, the recipe for the perfect soup.
Now shooting and editing cool, informative and entertaining videos does require a great amount of time and effort. However, as I started doing it I discovered I could so easily enter an incredible flow state while working on those videos... it must be a sign! So let's just listen to it and go with the flow state ;)
So my life was basically about videoediting in the past few weeks, just before flying back to Thailand. Now that I have rested a little and skillfully got over my jetlag; my life is going to be about videoshooting &editing during the day and teaching at night (due to the time difference), networking, making new friends, trying out coworking spaces, enjoying Chiang Mai and its yummy food, discovering the surroundings and beyond (at the moment I am catsitting in Bangkok for a few days), doing sport, yoga and meditation, attending exciting events, practising public speaking and putting together a few workshops and online language courses.
Plus mentally preparing myself for my upcoming Vipassana meditation retreat. And most importantly being patient with myself, being happy in the moment, not getting frustrated if I am not making quick progress and being content with where I am on my path. Creating moments of JOMO (joy of missing out) instead of those of FOMO (fear of missing out). Amen.

Well, it seems I am back in SE Asia and back on track, with all my plans and dreams in place, sooo: Dear rest of 2019, let's roll!